MickyLeaks – The EdMail

MickyLeaks can reveal the following Email, which explains quite a lot ….

From:  The Establishment

To:        Just about everyone in the UK Media

Re:       Ed Miliband

Date:   Day in, day out

In the name of vested interests – and our tradition of consigning most Labour leaders to the dustbin of history with serial cheap-but-deadly headlines – we direct you to interpret and define the politics, personality and actions of Ed Miliband as follows:

1.  Highly intelligent and well read = “WEIRDO”

2.  Has values and principles = “NAIVE”

3.  Has vision = “BARKING”

4.  Inspiring and refreshing = “SCARY”

5.  Wants a fairer society = “NORTH LONDONER”

6.  First name rhymes with a colour = “STALINIST”

7.  Genuinely Labour = “DELUDED” (only Tories can lead Labour)

8.  Challenged his brother = “MASS MURDERER”

9.  Made typo on Twitter = “TOTAL FAILURE” (did not attend secretarial college)

10. Right man for these changing times = “LEADERSHIP IN CRISIS”

TOP TIPS

Blitz with sustained negative publicity, then conduct an opinion poll to show his lack of popularity.  Repeat process every week until he falls off graph.

Remember the three Rs: ridicule, ridicule, ridicule. (Words with “k” are useful in this respect, e.g. geek, wonk, plonker.)

Do not waste valuable time and space on his policies. Either laugh them off, say he has none or interview some New Labourite with an axe to grind and an income derived from “predatory capitalism”.

Suggested further reading: “How I shafted anyone who mattered” by Kelvin MacKenzie.

Viva Margaret T, Tony B and David C (but not Gordon B)!

Yours most powerfully

The Establishment

Joseph Goebbels House, City of London.

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One response to “MickyLeaks – The EdMail

  1. Hi there,

    Finally got around to reading your blog. Very enjoyable. Love the sentiments in this one. I would, wouldn’t I?

    I started another blog some time ago – called “The Feral Press” – when my ambition was greater than my time. You might want to take a look.

    http://theferalpress.wordpress.com/

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