The news that Nadine Dorries is to appear in I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Outof Here! has sparked off the novel initiative for past contestants and MPs to swap roles.Some of the celebrities who have already landed in Westminster will be given senior posts in the Coalition. The exciting Government front bench 2012 line-up so far includes:
Prime Minister – Timmy Mallett
Chancellor of the Exchequer – Katie Price
Foreign and Commonwealth Secretary – Tony Blackburn
Home Secretary – Colin and Justin
Secretary of State for Education – Sid Owen
Secretary of State for Defence – Freddie Starr
Secretary of State for Health – Gillian McKeith
Secretary of State for Works and Pensions – Tara Palmer Tomkinson
Meanwhile, the top Tories trading caviar and claret for witchetty grubs and kangaroo bollocks are about to be dropped into the Australian jungle. Favourites who bookies expect to be picked for bush tucker trials are David Cameron, George Osborne, Michael Gove, Jeremy Hunt, Iain Duncan Smith, Grant Schapps and Eric Pickles.
Earlier today, Downing Street issued the following statement from David Cameron.
“We are very proud to be on this important challenge and relish the opportunity to let the public see more of us than they do already and to know why we need to cut all our public services
I am personally extremely sorry to be away from Britain at a time when my emails to Rebekah Brooks may be revealed. However, I am more than happy to leave the country in the capable hands of Nick Clegg and Timmy Mallett.”
It is understood that cabinet ministers have asked not to share a camp with Nadine Dorries.
In order to make contestants feel more at home in the jungle, Ant and Dec will be replaced by Jeremy Paxman and David Dimbleby. You will, however, be able to watch Ant and Dec presenting Newsnight and Question Time.
Lines will soon be open for you to vote for the minister you want to stay in the jungle.